Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

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I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t cotton to rapists

What are some cute picnic ideas for a romantic date?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

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It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

What would happen if Kakashi and Naruto switched places?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

How do you feel about Donald Trump signing an executive order that says there are only two genders?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

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Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Why do you allow your cat to lie in bed with you?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

How do people develop stage 4 cancer without noticing until it’s too late?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I can count

How common are novels, animes, or mangas, that are both coming of age and thriller? What do you think of these kinds of stories? What are some examples?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

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I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I can read

I actually pay taxes

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have complete contempt for traitorism

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t buy bullshit

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I see through liars

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I have a reading level above third grade

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t